Just Good Friends

Posted on Sunday, October 12, 2008

How do you go about telling your good mate that you are attracted to him? It’s a scenario I’m sure everyone has been in, where the lines that define your friendship get blurred. There is obviously a natural degree of attraction between good friends of the opposite sex. He’s your close friend for good reasons. He’s funny and intelligent. He’s individual and creative. You can tell him virtually anything and you know he’s not going to place judgment on you. You are completely yourself around him and you know he truly knows you. He’s got the bluest eyes that shipwreck you each and every time you look into them.

Solution? Don’t look into his eyes any longer than you have to. Keep yourself as far away as you can from this flame.

The thing about forbidden attraction is that it’s so fucking attractive. Knowing that you shouldn’t want it makes it even more desirable. So what are the options? Do I spill my guts and hope for the best? Or do I bite it down and wish it was his lips that I was kissing instead of someone else’s?

Those lips of his have never looked so good.

A few kisses between good friends shouldn’t sway the ship too much should it?

And what of him? I wonder if he feels anything when he looks into my eyes. Does anything stir behind his cool façade? There is only one way to find out. It involves copious amounts of alcohol and a night made from magic. Precision timing is required. It has to be wordless and relies solely on the perfect moment. It’s that moment where it’s just you and him. It’s that moment in between the next round of laughter, where both of you are right there in that pocket of time and no where else. You take the plunge and tap dance on the line of friendship. You do away with the line completely. You are without speech and your mind is as still as a lake. You lean in closer than comfort permits, and you wait. You wait for him to make contact. Everything else slows down and falls away around you. You feel the blood heat up inside your veins. You wait for him in this pocket of time and hope that he feels it too.

There are two possible outcomes here. A uniquely win-win situation. Option one: Your knees turn to jelly as he kisses you back. His lips taste better than you imagined and the heavens open above. Option two: You’re left dangling in that moment that he is not going to seize and you are frozen. You step back, observe the line, piss yourself with laughter as you die a slow death inside. You comment on how drunk you are and how random that was. Mission aborted. You carry on with a weightless conversation as you secretly pick up the shards of glass that was once your beating heart.

You tell yourself that it’s better to know than it is to wonder.

I would rather leave no stone unturned.

I would rather be fearless and courageous and know that life is meant to be lived.

Sink slowly into the depths of his blue eyes and let it all go.

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